For BISD Educators, Passion for Kids Travels Beyond the Border and the Classroom
Jared and Debbie Wingfield learned in 2008 that they would give birth to their very first child, Carter. At the time they were both teachers and coaches at Austin Westlake HS. Jared was a football and baseball coach and Debbie was the Head Girl’s Track and Cross-Country Coach. They both had very busy schedules and knew that having a baby would be a blessing but would require a great job of balancing their already busy lives. The couple had been unable to have children for many years and little did they know at the time that Carter would be the catalyst of an adoption journey that has lasted nine years.
Five months into Debbie’s pregnancy the Wingfields learned that Carter would be born with down syndrome. The news was very difficult at first as the Wingfields adjusted and prepared for a set of challenges they were not ready for. “When we first got married we had a preconceived notion that because we were athletes we would have kids that would be very athletic as well,” Jared said. “After learning that Carter would have a disability it was tough coming to terms with our fears of the unknown. We were coping with thinking how could this happen to us?” But come to terms they did. The couple was unable to give birth to any more children, as Carter’s life was a miracle of modern science.
After trying to adopt domestically with little success the Wingfields began to research International adoption. Debbie discovered a non-profit Down Syndrome Adoption Ministry called Reece’s Rainbow. Through this group, they both learned more about special needs adoptions and decided that was what they were called to do. “That was how it all started for us”, Jared said. “The more we researched the more we saw the horrible living conditions and treatment of disabled orphans in other countries. It was absolutely heartbreaking”. “The kids are fed and clean, but not loved,” Deborah said. “When they age out of the system they go to a mental institution to live a life in solitude and often die.
Many children with down syndrome struggle making it in the Ukraine. Many kids will just sit in a chair and rock all day. That’s why the Wingfields are doing all they can to make a difference. Jared added, “We never stopped trying to have children naturally, but knew that the path God laid before us was no accident and that adoption was going to be a very huge component of growing our family.”
In 2011, the Wingfields began the process of adopting their second child, Stasik Klein, from the Ukraine. “Stasik was born with down syndrome and when we met him for the first time we could not believe how fragile he was”, Jared said. “He was 19 months old and weighed 11 pounds. He could not carry his own weight, sit up, or crawl upright. He army crawled everywhere.” Stasik had already gone through a heart and GI surgery, he struggled to keep down food, and the Wingfields were told his prognosis was not good. Many people in the Ukraine questioned why they even bothered. “Sometimes you have to have a little faith and just provide some love,” said Debbie. “Stasik is currently 9-years-old and you would not believe he was ever in poor health. He is about as active as any kid in his school and keeping food down is definitely no longer a problem. He just needed more than what they were giving him and that something was a loving family. It made all the difference in his life and it also makes the difference in the lives so many other orphans that have been adopted.”
Shortly after Stasik arrived in the U.S. the Wingfields began the process of adopting two little girls from the Democratic Republic of Congo. “Although there were some challenges with Stasik after he arrived home, his actual adoption process was pretty typical”, said Debbie. “With the girls, the major challenge was the process itself. It took nearly three years to finally get them home. Amaya was five when we started the process and Kina had just turned two. By the time they arrived home they were eight and five.
In the DRC the children were treated pretty well but had very little beyond basic needs. They had friends at the orphanage and were able to go to school, but no air conditioning or other comforts. The outdoor classroom had children with ages ranging from 4-18 in the same area. It was like an old prairie school house and the older kids helped the younger kids learn. It was very communal, and that social aspect definitely helped their adjustment period when they came home.” Debbie added, “The challenges of the process included adoption agency corruption and lying to us about the location of one of our children. The largest obstacles to getting the girls home, however, was the president of the DRC placing a halt on ‘exit letters’ for adopted orphans. The DRC is an exit-visa country for minor children, so all minors must have exit visas to leave the country and only Congolese parents can remove their own children. All adoptive parents must have an invitation to come into the DRC and adopted children must have the letter of exit approved by the government to leave.
It would be difficult to determine one specific reason for him doing this, but in the DRC, political corruption is the defining reason for a lot of decisions. Our understanding was that this restriction was only for kids adopted by U.S. families so whatever it may have been that he wanted from the U.S., he used this method to try to get it. It is crazy to think that we could have moved to the DRC and the girls could have lived with us there, but they just couldn’t leave the country. We had legally adopted them two years prior to getting them home so this whole “Exit Restriction” was an obstacle that continued to place the girls at risk.
The DRC is a country that has a lot of political turmoil and at any moment things can become violent. As parents, we had to do what we needed to get them home. We won’t go into detail, but our means were unconventional and without making some tough decisions, it is probable that one, if not both, of our girls would still be there. The DRC is one of the poorest countries in the world with an average income for residents of less than $400 per year. Leaving them there any longer was just not an option. In September of 2015, just after the Wingfields moved to Boerne, the girls finally came home and have taken full advantage of every aspect of American life in their new family.
After the stress and trials associated with the girls’ adoption, the Wingfields thought that their adoption journey had ended, and their family was complete. In October 2015, shortly after the girls got home, Debbie unexpectedly became pregnant and the couple was overjoyed by the gift of having another child. “We were so excited because it was so unexpected and unplanned, said Jared. “During our first visit to the doctor we heard this strong heartbeat, and everything looked so good.” A couple of days before their December appointment, Debbie felt like something was wrong. The doctors visit confirmed their worst fears and they determined that the heartbeat was gone. Jared stated, “This is not the first time we have lost a child, but this was the furthest along we had been since Carter was born and it was real. We felt like the whole experience left a void in our family and we desired to have another child to make us whole.
After discussing adoption again, we saw an agency photo that was circulating around, and it caught both of our attention. We both saw the picture of this beautiful young boy and it was not long before we decided he had to be a part of our family.” After beginning a new nine-month journey, the Wingfields completed the adoption of their youngest son, Dominick a little over a year ago. Dominick was born in the Henan Province, in the Peoples Republic of China. He was born with a very complex congenital heart disease and lived in an orphanage in Zhengzhou, China for four years. “When you adopt these children, you can never take anything at face value”, said Jared “The paperwork you receive and what you learn from the adoption agency is never completely accurate, so you have to prepare yourself for anything. 
We knew Dominick had a CHD, but we did not know the extent. When we finally got him home we discovered other health concerns that had to be taken care of before we could even consider addressing his heart condition. The reality is that the Chinese doctors had done all they could do for him and it just wasn’t enough. His prognosis was not good, and many people advocated for him to be adopted before his health regressed further. When arriving home, Dominick had oxygen saturation levels in the 60% range, and the race was on to get all preliminary medical issues fixed before he could have heart surgery. Luckily, we landed with a great medical team at Dell Children’s Hospital in Austin and Dominick was able to have life-saving heart surgery in December. It was so incredible, Jared said, “to see his instant improvement. For the first time in his life he was not blue, and his current oxygen saturation is 99%.
Dominick has such a peaceful spirit, he goes out of his way to help others, and he is always smiling and laughing. It is hard to imagine that all that could be lost on us had we not found him. We still have some challenges ahead, but as with everything we rely on our faith in God and leave it in his hands. No matter what happens going forward, this guy has improved our quality of life and we have given him something he did not have before, a loving family. We are so thankful for the people that have supported us in this journey. What we were able to accomplish getting Amaya and Kina home and then expediting surgery for Dominick would not have been possible without this incredible Boerne community. From our own families, to our church community at St Peter’s, coworkers at both Boerne Middle School South and Boerne High School, and also the administration at Boerne ISD; they all played an instrumental part in supporting us. We have even had complete strangers offer support in one way or another. We could not be more blessed.”
Jared added, “Adoption is not easy; it is at times heartbreaking, frustrating, challenging, and can create anxieties we did not know we had. To see what we have seen, the conditions that these kids come from and the ultimate knowledge of knowing how their life may end up is gut-wrenching. When you leave a country with your own son or daughter you feel so much guilt about the 153 million orphans that are left behind. Even though you know you have made a positive difference, there is little relief from the awful feeling you have. We do what we can do, though, and continue to focus on our own kids and help raise awareness while encouraging others to consider adoption. Even with its challenges, adoption is the ultimate blessing for everyone involved. We live in an amazing community here in Boerne. There are so many families I have met that have adopted children all over the world. Here in the hill country, our story is not unique. It is amazing the stories I have heard the last four years and the resources and knowledge available to anyone contemplating adoption.”
“It has been amazing to see how much all of our children have accomplished since getting home," Debbie said. They have grown so much and changed in so many positive ways. They have opportunities they would have never had; they have also brought so much love, energy, and diversity to our home. We have kids from four different continents and although they have some differences, they are also very much the same. As public-school educators we want all kids to understand that everyone has challenges, and everyone is unique. It is our responsibility to use our strengths to lift others up, embrace our differences in order to learn from one another, show empathy whenever possible, and do what we can to make the world a better plac. What better way to model this than in our own home.
Jared is currently an Assistant Principal at Boerne Middle School South and Debbie is a social studies teacher at Boerne High School. All their children attend school in Boerne ISD.
